philopopsicle once exclusive, now accessible to anyone. don't convince yourself that just because you have read some of my bloggerings, it doesn't necessarily follow that you already know me as a person. most of the words written here are just a burst of an immense emotion that needs to find a decent way of break through. i may not write well as you think you do but what the hell, it is my blog. and for those who appreciate, gratitude is my sincere shot.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
ouch! 12:45 PM
never really felt na break na tau 'til:
- you changed your passwords
- deleted my pictures and our pictures together
- never texted me
- bitterly bragging me about you new girlfriend (which i did too)
- read joanne's blog and you both seem so happy together
- realized how lucky she is for she was loved by you
- nung nabasa ko yung blog ni joji
- never really remembered me,kahit message sa ym lang
- you really did have moved on
- i found my self crying because i lost you for forever..
fucked up!! I STILL LOVE YOU!! i dont want to move on!! ang kapal ng mukha ko para magexpect pah!! all i can do is to keep it to my self because i have no face to show you anymore.. GOD KNOWS WHO MY HEART REALLY BEATS FOR..
i deserve this..
i deserve this!!
stop being such a bitch jhoi!!
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
jealous 9:45 AM
umm, so kayo na nga ni joanne. fuck i was so hurt. i guess tapos na talaga. is this how we are really going to end? mas lalo akong nanlumo nung sinabi saken ni ayes na hindi ka na daw babalik dito sa september. i am all screwed up. i want you back!! pero wala na akong magawa. you already seem happy. now nararamdaman ko na talaga na you'll never know how important someone is 'til it's gone. that time i wanted to do everything for you to love me back a.g.a.i.n. sa relationship namin ni david, ask him pa how i was lame. PUTANGINA talaga, i thought i can already move on. pero hindi pa pala talaga. now it's clear. my heart will never be able to beat, not unless it's for you.
but i guess, what i'm trying to say is impossible. because of my mistake, i've ruined the most important thing to me. it hurts me as hell to know that YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE:'(
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
when we broke up 1:27 PM
yah, sige sabihen na naten that i lied, kasi sinabi ko sayo na hindi kami nagusap ni david nung araw na yun. i was scared, i thought i really loved him. i was thinking about him all day since nung thursday. i regret that i left you again, ang hirap talaga pag wala ka saken ngayon, this is the hardest transition of my life, hon, we grew up together for 3 years and i have been uberly dependent on you. pero nung time na yun i don't know what was really going on. i needed someone to love me and will be there for me. na-catalize pa nung nakita ko yung picture ni joanne. i was so depressed, you know me sometimes i'm bugnuten. i wasn't thinking very well that time i admit. and all of this is my fault i know. that day david wasn't really talking to me, kaya i was alarmed, akala ko love na yung naramdaman ko.
i know, hindi mo na ako makilala, dahil sa lahat ng mga pinag-gagagawa ko. pero jay i am still me. i need you. this is the worst of me.
all i can say is: i was wrong, i'm sorry, i'm not perfect, i was unfaithful, but i love you, and sometimes you have to be at your w.o.r.s.t. to be at your b.e.s.t.
You are everything i wanted,
and more...