philopopsicle once exclusive, now accessible to anyone. don't convince yourself that just because you have read some of my bloggerings, it doesn't necessarily follow that you already know me as a person. most of the words written here are just a burst of an immense emotion that needs to find a decent way of break through. i may not write well as you think you do but what the hell, it is my blog. and for those who appreciate, gratitude is my sincere shot.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
i want 10:19 PM
i want a new effing LAY OUT.
i'm too busy. crap crap crap.
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
she's so afraid 4:11 PM
you know what is worst than not being able to sleep at night crying, with muffled mouth so as nobody can hear you and you're trying every position just to be able to pass the day with a rest? well i guess it is waking up feeling restless and so uninspired having your heart wanted to burst in tears and after that, you should swallow and take each and every day feeling weak and taking same reasons why you are walking away...
sleeping is already hard enough and to be addend by difficulty of eating because your tears gets into your way and adds to the salty taste of food which adds to my appetite loss plus, the food as swallowed goes back to my throat resisting its own nourishment. and that's not it, even breathing and smiling becomes harder...
sometimes i wish my heart is as hard as stone...
~
she wanted him so bad but she is so weak to take everything that obviously makes him happy. she doesn't want him to change that is why she has less to tell. she wanted him for everything that he is but she's not sure if she could be the person to take it and have it. she wanted him to know that she is not turning her back at him, she's also always there for him but she has chosen to walk away facing towards him even if she's so weak to see everything. she's not so sure why but for sure it has something to do with love...
~
cheerio my best friend...
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
no coffee for three months 6:59 PM
this day is harsh for me. too much emotions... my eyes are like windshield on a rainy day [fluid and electrolyte imbalance]. and worst it's swelling like hell. i effingly look like an idiot. nobody can see me this way especially my dad...
i bet i'd be having severe attacks of insomnia these days that's why no coffees as much as possible. not even a sip or else i'd die. huhu. i don't think i'd be able to get that planner... oh well.
the song perfectly explain what i feel right now... :(
only two person knows how i feel right now... they're there exactly at the perfect timing whenever i feel down. if you're reading this you know who you are and thank you so much. you don't know how you two greatly conceal my afflictions... i hope you both know how much i love you...
i still believe GOD counts women's tears...
i can't really explain what i feel right now so just listen to the song. and feel with me.
cheerio. :)
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Sunday, November 9, 2008
the start or the end. 3:19 PM
at this moment i am so blunt... nothing really inspire me. i don't really have anything to look forward to besides being with my family this december. i know now that i should make them as the only center of my life and nobody else. i've learned that i must not trust anyone besides my family...
awhile ago i had this nightmare again, and when i woke up i remembered that dreams are somewhat a message from God and somehow are subconscious decisions. i know now we are better, we're fine than as of before but i must end everything now...while i still have the strength to do so...
just a year from now i'd be at some place unfamiliar but i guess homely. and i know i should prepare my self with that and that only. i shouldn't be thinking about anything but preparing myself to be far from the place i am very much familiar of... i should be preparing for my future wherein nobody is near from where i stand right now will be there for a help and guidance. just a year from now what is in front of me will be out of my reach. and i should be ready for that...
i would love to love... but i would love to love someone near. someone my dreams are filled of and would agree with my subconscious mind... until then i'd close my heart from getting hurt... waiting until my knight comes along... :)
You are everything i wanted,
and more...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
i have nothing to write. so i stole a survey from my sistah 11:47 PM
1 Are You Singl
yes. i guess so.
2 If not, who is your bf/
if not? then he must be my friggin KNIGHT.
3 How Long Have You Been Toget
as long as the time we saw each other. haha
4 If You'
is there a reason to hate it??
5 Do You Have a Crush
unfortunately yes i do have a crush... and it bothers me because it's my friend. huhu
6 First
what about it?
7 Ever Kiss in the Rain?
haha. not yet... as far as i can remember. does drizzle count?? wahaha
8 In a Movie
yes. haha. besides... who doesn't? it's cold and dark... very conducive to kiss... hahaha.
9 Under
wahaha. i guess i just did... kanina... hahaha:))
10 First
for the second time, what about it??
11 Have you ever Cheat
i guess so... but not on a skulking manner...
12 Been Cheat
dunno. maybe.
13 Used Someo
the world is a Favor Bank. even love is mutual. both has to give and both has to use what has been given... am i right?
14 Been used?
oh tons of times dear.
15 Lied to your bf/
for the better? oh yah. even if i'm one hell of honesty devotee
16 Ever Made out With Just a Frien
yes. ofcourse. lovers started out as friends... that makes out... haha
17 Ever Had Sex With Just a Frien
nope. i guess i clarify things before getting into business... wahaha
18 Are You a Tease
i tease but i don't know if I AM.
19 Do you Flirt
nah. flirting are just for lovers. and never for friends... [most especially to a girlfriend's boyfriend.] except for girlfriends then let the flirting galore begin :)
20 Longe
three years. [biglang serious mode? haha]
21 Short
in terms of an agreement i guess it was three months? dunno.
22 Have you Ever Gotte
yes. but i don't know if that person made it himself...
23 Ever Get Flowe
yes. which was really a spoiler. haha
24 Sweet
idk. a flower and a letter? oh i love love letters. very classic.
25 Do you Like Valen
what the effing hell is a sweetest day??
26 Do you Belie
nope. not at all. you can never love a person you don't know anything about.
27 Do you Belie
magic? what??
28 Do you Fall in Love Fast?
well it depends. if the person is lovable then ohhhh yea. i let me fall like a flash... haha
29Are you a playe
nah. as if.
30 Would
what do you mean by hook up? oh well... as long as it's ate krissy andrade wahahaha...
31 Have You ever Kisse
nooooooo. the hell...
32 Kisse
friends? yah. anything else... never.
33 Had Sex with 2 Peopl
whore that is. never me.
34 Had sex with 2+ Peopl
lady of easy virtue was never me.
35 Ever cried
yes of course.
36 Ever Been Dumpe
i don't think so... and i hope it'd never happen
37 Ever dumpe
i dumped and crushed. but never meant it...
38 Ever been rejec
nooooo. by a friend pwede pa. pero a guy? tsssss. screw him.
39 Do you have a lot of ex's?
no. i don't collect...
40 Are you a slut?
haha. great question...
41 Ever been calle
dunno. as if she/he can tell that to my face... haha
42 Ever dated
yes.
43 Do you ever make the first
i guess so... what's wrong with that?
44 Doubl
it depends. but i prefer to be alone.. hahaha
45 Do you want to get marri
no. it's bs. it's like placing a chain to someone you love... i am a jealous person but not to the extent of choking the person i love...
You are everything i wanted,
and more...