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philopopsicle once exclusive, now accessible to anyone. don't convince yourself that just because you have read some of my bloggerings, it doesn't necessarily follow that you already know me as a person. most of the words written here are just a burst of an immense emotion that needs to find a decent way of break through. i may not write well as you think you do but what the hell, it is my blog. and for those who appreciate, gratitude is my sincere shot.


Driver

name:Jhoi Lerum
birth day:26th of may
age:nineteen
she can be aloof and very cold
patience was NEVER her virtue
skeptical and undecided
reckless and candid
dreamt of being a killer/assassin
a bum that loves sleep
keeps her friends close
and enemies unnoticed
explosive and violent
harsh and untammed

big fan of:
popsicle
strawberries & peaches
coffee is an addiction.
stars
Coelho's novels
Bruce Wayne/ Batman
Warhols' pop art
expressive photographs
Y E L L O W
Italian f o o d
Grey's Anatomy
ParaMORE
(ulk emo.)
Chuck Bass - i love
Steven Hyde - i adore
and and...
G O D - my all

she hates: arrogance.


L O V E me or H A T E me,
i S T I L L matter.

e-mail me

Leave A Trace

Listen


Strawberry Swing - Coldplay


Escape

Past

07.07
08.07
09.07
10.07
11.07
04.08
05.08
06.08
07.08
08.08
09.08
10.08
11.08
12.08
01.09
04.09
04.10
06.10
07.10



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charlie140588
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

dysphoric and melancholic 8:17 PM


very much down right now. because of the things i've been thinking about lately. THINGS WILL NEVER BE BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS USE TO BE. you'll never be able to trust me again if ever we try to work out things between us. you'll never be able to see me the you looked at me before. and just the thought of it makes me so down. i don't know how to redeem my self anymore. i want you back but i'm afraid to fail you again. i want you back but just dont know how to fight for your love back.

maybe I AM LIVING IN A WORLD OF ILLUSION. wanting you back is very much impossible. i'm losing hope of having you back. this fight i think is futile. oh God, i so pity myself for being in this situation.

i so love you. but things are very much complicated already. you don't show interest anymore. it's tiring to think that chasing you will lead me nowhere. i was so hurt when you said that you do not know if you'd still believe me. it was my fault, i know, but try to think of it, WHAT IS MORE PAINFUL THAN HEARING THE PERSON YOU LOVE NOT BELIEVING IN YOU ANYMORE?

how am i suppose to redeem my self?
i'm so tired...
i love you...
but i guess wanting you back is not an option anymore.
i don't want you to have bad times with me anymore.
hurting you is like hurting me twice.
i want you to know how much i love you.
i'd do anything just to have you back...
but as i've said, having you back is not an option anymore.

i'd just look from afar,
try to know how you do once in a while...
love you with out anything in return...
just simply love you.

TRUE LOVE CAN WITHSTAND ANY SEPARATION. -The Witch Of Portobello

i miss you so much jay.

You are everything i wanted,
and more...