philopopsicle once exclusive, now accessible to anyone. don't convince yourself that just because you have read some of my bloggerings, it doesn't necessarily follow that you already know me as a person. most of the words written here are just a burst of an immense emotion that needs to find a decent way of break through. i may not write well as you think you do but what the hell, it is my blog. and for those who appreciate, gratitude is my sincere shot.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
please remember that once, you loved me. please. 11:51 AM
pota, i have just typed the entry title naiyak na ako. hon, (i don't care if you belong to someone else already), please remember that once in your life you loved me, i don't care kung may girlfriend ka na. i don't want to be your girlfriend anymore, i just want you to pay attention, and see that i still love you so much.
i want you to remember these:
1. remember when we text each other every morning, remember how it feels like, please. BECAUSE you are my FIRST LOVE
2. remember when we danced at gen's house and the sound playing is: more than word. BECAUSE you were my FIRST DANCE.
3.remember when i wrote you this last october?
hehe~ i would never forget the way you held me around your arms, the way you whisper on my ear telling me “PANO MAMAYA?”, the way you kiss me…the feeling of you lips…the way I breathe in what you breathe out, the way you place and rub your finger tips against my skin… the way our souls talk even if we’re not speaking, the way you filled the missing pieces of me again…~
(every single word i've written there was true. and hon, will you accept me back in the future when we've forgot what happend? if yes, i can't wait for that day to come..)
4. remember when you have written this:
~the love of my life
kanina,nagchat kami ni jhoi,natanong ko sa kanya,kung sa itngin nya magkakatuluyan kami..pareho kami ng sinagot na hindi namin alam..para sakin,hindi ko talaga alam,parang ang dami kasi pumipigil..pero,kahit na ganun,,gusto ko sya..ewan ko ba talaga..hindi ko maintindihan..basta hindi ko mapigil na maisip sarili ko na kasama sya at tumanda na kasama sya..gusto ko magkaron ng pamilya sa future..sana sya maging mommy ng mga anak ko..yun pangarap ko para samin..gusto ko magkaron kami ng magandang buhay..sana talaga kami na magkatuluyan..well,marami pa naman tym para mapagusapan namin yan,ayoko magmadali.gusto ko maging msaya sya sa mga desisyon nya.mas maganda na pinagiisipan ng mabuti mga desisyon.gusto ko maging masaya sya sa buhay nya..o buhay namin..anyway,nung tapos na kami magchat,tinext nya to sakin..
"just wanna make it clear,
ung tanong mo kanina
kung tingin ko magkakatuluyan tayo,.
d ko alm..
pro un n ung gsto ko.
cnt pic2re myslf w/ other..
kung san mo gusto magstay dun ako,
i wnt u to be the fther of my famly,.
un lng..
missu"
ano pang hahanapin ko sa babae,nasayo na lahat,,ang sarap pakinggan ng sinabi mo..promise ko sayo,gagawin ko lahat para mangyari yan.,walang makakapigil sakin.,i promise that i will be loyal and honest to you all the time.you can ask me anything and i will answer without hesitating.kahit anong mangyari ikaw lang mahal ko.u have changed me in so many ways.u made me a better man.hindi na ko bibitaw.hindi na kita papakawalan.iloveyou verymuch.
nung isang araw,diba sinabi ko sayo na may sasabihin ako?,,nakalimutan mo na yata..pero lalagay ko nalang dito..nakachat ko si katrina..tinanong nya kung tayo parin ba daw..sabi ko oo..sabi nya,,baka naman daw nanggagago ako dito..baka daw may ginagawa akong kalokohan..ganun kasi siguro pagkakakilala ng mga tao sakin sa pilipinas,,kung tatanungin mo mga kaibigan ko,siguro ganun din sasabihin nila,,isa sa mga reason kaya gusto kong pumunta dito,kasi gusto ko magbago..dito,sa singapore,wala pa nakakakilala sakin.meron akong bago,at malinis na record,o buhay.parang bagong buhay ba..kaya sinabi ko kay katrina,nagbago na ko,ayaw nya maniwala..pero,wala na ko pake kahit maniwala xa o hindi..basta alam ko sakin na nagbago na ako.., tapos,sabi nya hindi ba daw ako natatakot na meron nang iba si jhoi,sabi ko hindi..kasi hindi ganon pagkakakilala ko sa kanya..sabi nya nagbabago daw lahat ng tao..kaya maghanda daw ako..kahit daw may tiwala ako sa kanya,pwede parin un mangyari..lalo na malayo ako sa kanya,wala ako dun..di ko natuloy alam iisipin ko..pero alam ko talaga,na hindi magagawa sakin ni jhoi un..at wala rin akong balak gawin un sa kanya..yan nalang muna..ieedit ko nalang..may kelangan na ko gawin e..iloveyouverymuch nie ko.walang iwanan promise..
(I COULD DIE TO HEAR YOU SAY THIS AGAIN JAY...)
You are everything i wanted,
and more...