philopopsicle once exclusive, now accessible to anyone. don't convince yourself that just because you have read some of my bloggerings, it doesn't necessarily follow that you already know me as a person. most of the words written here are just a burst of an immense emotion that needs to find a decent way of break through. i may not write well as you think you do but what the hell, it is my blog. and for those who appreciate, gratitude is my sincere shot.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
will you be here as i open my eyes? 1:25 AM
i have always blamed you for everything that had happen to me when i know everything was entirely my fault. but i can't help my self to once in a while, sit in the corner of my room, think of what could have happened, wait as i always did, wait for the moment wherein i'll exactly feel the feeling i've been trying to look for for more that a year now. how come i never get over this? i always feel like i'm almost there, but whenever i open my eyes, i always get the feeling of being disappointed because every thing was just a misinterpretation of the true stimulus i perceived. as i see things slowly coming to its clarity, it's hard to accept the fact that i'm not even close of getting over you and everything that we have shared.
i am a person of the past. i am more of an idealist that of a realist. i am a person who remembers every detail of an event. i even write things in my past because it is very valuable for me. it is a part of me that i will never be able to alter...
i tried to close my eyes again and taught of my plans. plans that was momentarily set aside. i dug into it once more and it didn't surprise me at all. it was full of you. everywhere are images of you and i. i came up to a realization that i never really made a new and concrete plans as these, honestly, i think i will never be able to make plans as firm as these...
my eyes are still closed, reminiscing on how things used to be. i am alone in my room. it's 5:00 am, and it's time to wake up for school. as my phone ring, the song that never fail to remind me of you is playing, my heart is beating hard that it is close to emancipating from its cage, i am fully awake, and i am about to answer. as i push the answer button, your voice calmed my stubborn heart from its skittishness. you told me everything there is to say and this is just the morning i've always looked for...
this is one of the things in my past that shook me. i didn't wanna open my eyes this time, because i just wish that as these eyes open, you would be in front of me, take my hands and dry these tears because nobody can ever do it exactly the way you did it and the way i wanted it...
i just really hope you're here as i open my eyes...
You are everything i wanted,
and more...